Pro-Wrestling Tom Zenk Page

Last updated 3 July 2004

Austin goes home... is this the finish?

By Tom Zenk

COMING SOON

'Titan' : another disaster movie from the WWE film division ; impoverished wrestler screws his way into rich heiress's affections only to lose everything

by Tom Zenk
STOP PRESS.............

WWE, GGW and ‘kiddy porn'?

(From The Smoking Gun) APRIL 4-- "The owner of the "Girls Gone Wild" video empire was arrested yesterday on racketeering charges after Florida cops learned that several underage girls were filmed topless and bathing together at a local motel. Investigators allege that Joseph Francis, 30, and his cohorts filmed the minors last week during spring break festivities in Panama City. According to cops, the "Girls Gone Wild" team brought two of the girls to a motel where they were each paid $100 for undressing, showering together, and masturbating as they sat on the side of the bathtub. Investigators also allege that Francis offered two of the girls $50 "to touch or play with his penis," and that he and the "Girls Gone Wild" photographer both knew that the girls were all underage. Along with arresting Francis and three of the multimillionaire's associates, cops executed search warrants on Francis's condominium and his corporate Lear jet. ....cops reported, they found explicit video of the underage girls who had told cops of their March 31 encounter with Francis & Co. In light of these allegations, it makes you wonder whether the previous "Girls Gone Wild" productions (which have raked in nearly $100 million) may also contain kiddy porn."

Linda McMahon Investors Conference Call 2003-02-26
A caller asked Linda to explain the WWE's relationship with Girls Gone Wild. She said Eric Bischoff brought them the opportunity to produce the Girls Gone WIld pay-per-view. (Eric Bischoff apparently served as the Executive Producer for GGW's March PPV.) When the caller asked if this was going to be a one time only working relationship, she said, "We'll see." Linda added that she is not concerned about a backlash against the company for working with "GGW." [The Torch]

FLASH
GGW spokesman Bill Horn (!!!) said they deny all charges.
Nevertheless, WWE severed connections with Girls Gone Wild last night - historically their preference is for underage ring boys. Hey, just a little fun... Linda's not worried. WWE can take a joke!!

*** Austin – going home for the finish?
"I am not going to fade...I am not looking to be the guy who slides down and you tap your buddy and say, 'Man, remember when that guy used to . . .' Stone Cold Steve Austin, Rolling Stone Magazine, December 24, 1998 by Chris Heath

Triple H "One of the things you want to be able to do in this business is go out on your terms -- not because your body fails you, not because you're pushed out. But because you felt like it was time. Steve is still a young guy, and he should still kind of be in his prime. Unfortunately, injuries ended it way too soon. I feel bad for that."(wwe.con)

Goldberg has always been compared to Austin in looks, bald head, black trunks, etc.
Now Goldberg is IN and Steve Austin is basically OUT.
Like Bret, Steve is done - knees shot, the anterior and posterior cruciate ligaments gone in the left knee; the anterior cruciate ligament gone in the right knee. His neck is shot.... He has worn-out shoulders and bone chips in his elbows....
He won't really be a draw again, that's been proven.
How many times have we seen Rock versus Austin in a match?
So Rock puts in a good word for Goldberg after meeting him on a movie set.

[Goldberg says "In all honesty, if it wasn't for that relationship [with the Rock], I don't know if I'd be here right now.] Goldberg signs.

Rock will put Goldberg over at PPV.

VKM always gets what he wants....Austin came back for ‘mania... an offer he can't refuse... And Austin came back to lose! ...... Remember back when Hall, Nash, Hogan left WWF for Turner's gold. Austin stayed and together with Bret helped build Vince's billion dollar empire. Bret got screwed. Turner sank and the rats came slinking back. Vinnie went with Hogan and the nWo. Austin got screwed. Austin went home. Vince and JR called him a quitter. "I have no idea what could possibly motivate him just to walk off the job like a child, to take his ball and go home." (McMahon)

Austin went home to a nagging wife. Debra, the woman he left Jeanne and his two daughters for. Debra, that big tit bitch who used him to get to WWe TV. Like a tank being hit by a toe missile, she goes from a Bama trailor to TEXAS RANCH... from Mongo to MILLIONAIRE, from Horseman Mongo-mark (EB's pretend friend) to a FUCKIN HORSE like Steve Willaims. (I wonder what Pillman thought of Mongo being in the ring, much less a Horseman. I wonder how Flair kept a straight face hangin on the ropes. I mean what the fuck is that. Mongo should have chairs between Flair and himself!!! A cheap seat whaaaaaay up back, is the closest he should have ever been to a wrasslin ring!!)

Without TV, Debra turned her back on Austin and he broke apart, like a country song....... Steve gets the cold sholder from love (biz) and wife (trophy), rejection, divorce, assault charges, no beer. No beer? that was the finish!!

So, Austin is home alone in his big empty San Antonio mansion, the house that TV bought. Every day he's missing TV, missing the road, the boys, grown fond in memory. No-one calls. No-one dares call. Vince is very big on loyalty. A year passes. Austin cannot bear the silence. Vince knows precisely the moment to call. He gives JR the signal ....

"Finally, I get a card in the mail from Jim Ross. It just said, "Hey, if you need me, I'm here," and it was just signed, "Jim Ross." .. And I said, "Well, goddamn, that was cool." I picked up the phone and gave him a call, and we talked for two hours. ...He said to me, "You know, Steve, what do you think about talking to Vince? He's a fair man, and he's always willing to meet you.....Would you be willing to do that?" And I said, "You're damn right I'd be willing to do that..."

So Austin goes back. Nothing is different - yet everything has changed. Things have shifted while he's been away, others have been pulling Vinnie's ear. Austin knows he'll never be a trusted lieutenant again. After all, he quit, didn't he. "He took his ball and went home."

Vinnie's seen it all before. Austin the fading star. "One day someone else becomes more famous" Vince says, "and that's the moment when wrestlers are most likely to dispute the story lines they're involved in."

Back in 1998 Austin told Rolling Stone, when his star falls, he swears, he'll be ready: "That's just the nature of the business. The machine's going to keep moving . . . Everyone always get their feelings hurt when their value starts to go down and they're not the Number One guy anymore. Hey -- I'm not going to get my feelings hurt.. I realize I gotta get out while I can."

Except he didn't get out. And perhaps now he never will. He went back and now Vinnie OWNS him. No matter what happens, Austin knows he can't go home to that empty house again.

So at 'mania Austin gets jobbed. It's over, we all saw it. Now he's lower than Patterson who can't go home. He's lower than Garea. He's lower than Brisco, Pritchard, Flair, Anderson – all men who can't go home. No other home to go to, no life outside the paranoid world of WWe.

One night, on the road, alone in his motel room, Austin realizes he's lost everything he once had. His body is shot. Two wives and the kids gone.... everything sacrificed for the biz he loves, the bizness that never loved him back......

*** 'The devil in a suit...' The Los Angeles Times investigated the high rate of drug deaths in wrestling (3/29/2003) and were told by VKM - "I'm a human being and a businessman. If people die, they can't perform for you. From the human being's perspective, how do you think I feel? Do you think I'm the DEVIL?"

Dismayed by the return of Sable and Piper, Keller in the Torch says: "Vince go home..." for your own good, the good of your company today, the health of your company's long term future. ....Now in the biz, "go home" means "do the finish"..... does Keller mean Vince should kill himself? one might ask.. It's that bad?

No! No rest for the wicked devil. The Genetic Jackhammer needs to shift into another gear. The tsunami is coming!! Vince needs to finish the fiscal year strong. After showing off his athletic ability at W-mania, Vince Mcman ( at 57 years) has no time to lose. TV interviews, main stream media coverage is going wild for him. Just imagine all the buy rates Vinnie boy and Baldie drew!! I mean he positioned himself ever so carefully to generate maximum buy rates to save the show. This genius needs NO time off!!

*** Deja vu, all over again...
The shills gave Wrestlemania a BIG thumbs up - the surest sign yet that things are REALLY in the toilet!!
"HHH vs Booker T: ***1/4
Hogan vs McMahon: ***
Rock vs Austin: ****
Lesnar vs Angle: ****1/4"

Me, I gave Hogan vs McMahon: *** a three pill match.. not stars, just pills.

Hint to Dave and Wade. It's about the BUY RATE guys!!!!

All indications are that 'Mania buyrates will be down at least 40 percent from last year. WWE budgeted for 850,000 buys. My guess – half a million. That plus the lagging ratings - RAW 3.7 on the back on Mania and Smackdown 3.3 (both terrible) … may explain why the shills are in denial and the locker room in a panic about layoffs. The "spring cleaning" will help pay the HUGE contract Goldberg received. Nice of the boys to help!! The return of Sable and Piper, the employment of the clueless Nathan Jones, etc all signs of the times. The old and the green are back and 'just happy to be here'. Who cares about salary. As Stable told wwe.con "I came here to prove myself once again... I come back with such a new appreciation for what I had and lost. And I'm just totally dedicated and committed to making it work this time." How long before they're smearing shit in Stable' s gym bag again.

Still, I'm quite sure all Piper wants to do is start a UNION for all the boy's and their families plus help VKM clean up the nasty product. "Piper's Pit' ...stuck on stupid, right back where he started from....

This week, things are really getting heated up in WWe. We get to see the clique in the ring again, both of the 1994 REAL WWE tag champions reunited, Michaels and Diesel. Can you imagine all the ***** star matches this crew is gonna put together? Finally we get to see guys with "passion" for this great biz back in the ring together. No more lame excuses for guys with bum legs.Hunter and Diesel will surely steal the spotlight facing each other once again.

All the fans, the boys, must be hoping HHH will showcase his stuff on PPV with Diesel in a singles match, just as he did so unselfishly with Scott Steiner. HHH truly deserves the belt, just ask him? You disagree? Check out the bottom line. The facts and figures don't lie. For a whole year the company was in the red while HHH was on top with Big Steph.

***
Vinnie - a 'one trick pony' says the Post
We've been saying it here for years – "In my opinion, WWE's failure to diversify will prove to be the most significant – and most ominous - development of 2001". (Tom Zenk column 12/07.2001)

Now the word has finally hit the street – Wall Street that is .....with New York Post writer Christopher Byron predicting "a less hopeful fate in store for those…investors who've been clinging to their World Wrestling shares for a payday that may never come."

Says Byron, "WWE is a media company with more than a few intriguing parallels to… Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia Inc. One does not readily associate the Queen of White-Bread Living with stupid men on steroids who prance around in bathing shorts and pretend to try to kill each other - yet the parallels are there. Both companies are media-based, both went public to much hype and hoopla 31/2 years ago - on the same day, Oct. 19, 1999 - and …both now trade for barely $8 per share."

"More importantly, though both companies like to talk about their diversified activities, the two businesses are fundamentally one-trick ponies....."

from Tom Zenk Column [08/09/02]

"Martha's company is already reeling from its struggle to escape the taint of its namesake's legal problems. And now a different set of pressures… are bearing down on the WWE.

"The latest problem: The company's biggest and financially most crucial event of the year - its annual pay-per-view cable event, called Wrestlemania, which took place over this last weekend - may well have turned out a flop.....

"World Wrestling Entertainment has been around as a sports business for 20 years, but only for the last 31/2 as a public company. And, save for a brief and painful foray into something it called "extreme football," along with a restaurant and retailing complex in New York, the company really hasn't done much to move beyond its basic bit of arranging for shaved-down muscle men to smack each other around in the ring.

"The company rightly and quickly dropped the football idea when it proved an obvious flop, and it's now in the process of shutting down the New York retail complex as well. But so far there seems to be nothing new on the horizon except the same old same-old. And that dog just won't hunt no more.

"Revenues for the company peaked in 2001 at $456 million, and are now running at an annualized rate of $412 million - the third straight year of decline. The company recently offered some even gloomier numbers for the year ahead, suggesting that revenues may fall to $375 million. Meanwhile, the bottom line slipped into the red in the October quarter for the first time, and moved deeper in January.

"The company's cash flow looks good, and the balance sheet is strong, so there's plenty of room to try something new. Yet … nothing much in the way of big new plans is likely to develop - especially when one can always fall back on the annual Wrestlemania, which caps a quarter that routinely brings in 30 percent more top-line revenue than any other quarter of the year.
This year, alas, the company and its investors alike may be disappointed …."

Vince, ring me, we gotta sit down face to face and talk....you dumb fuck. You've gotta monopoly and you're getting creamed??

***
Goldberg - an engagement gift for Crips?
If HHH-Bomb DREW, then Daddy wouldn't have spent a ton of money to sign GOLDBERG, now would he? Obviously Goldie's there for HHH to beat. Crips' ego before Daddys company, every time. I bet even now, he and Steph are working our how to steal the company from the old man.

HHH, in his interview with wwe.con says: "I think Bill's a big star. He's got a big name. And hopefully he can add. But WWE is a different beast altogether [to WCW]. It's going to be a real sharp learning curve, I think, for Bill. Hopefully he can do it. We don't have a 300-guy-deep talent roster to feed him 200 wins. He's going to have to get over in a different way -- not that he's not already over, but to stay over.... I look forward to getting in the ring with him."

Hey HHH, you fuckin dope, you got a monopoly going, wake up.....as for competition????????? TNA /DDP WHO?? WWE is all there is. So where the problem? Booking, easy money making, wrestling 101.com says, "Make every match mean something." That means, Billy Goldberg has to booked properly and fed talent for short matches to get over. Simple formula!! All the boys know it, the sheet writers know it. You bring in all the boys to job to Goldberg. You build him up. He beats people quick. You make Goldberg MEAN SOMETHING because you mean shit, HHH. Give Goldberg a fair chance. He's worth more than you... Ask Vince? you fat Flair, steroid abusing chicken shit bs'er. Wait and watch - my guess is WWE won't be smart enough to protect Billy despite the fact he could really help. Looks like Daddy pissed away some more investor ca$h. How much this time, Vinnie? he he.

Back to the interview with wwe.con -
Triple H (speaking): "Did you hear the crowd at WrestleMania? I don't think that could get old. It's an indescribable feeling. And if you think that gets old, you're in the wrong business."

So you ARE a mark? No, it's screw your career time H-bomb. Kurt is the lead HORSE after surgery. You get to ride on the WWe wagon, bringing up the rear. You proved what you could do. You screwed Vinnie's brains out. He's got them back just in time to say "Game over". Now we get to build Goldberg for a year heading to Angle at Mania. HHH gets to job first, no problem. If he really was "family" he could show how it's done. The right way!!

H. or shall I call you Naitch....

Flair gets to watch a young wanna-be who SUCKS like DDP, trying to dress, act cool, wrestle like a young Flair. That in itself must drive Rick crazy. Crazy Rick going after EB last week proves the temper under the big top. But HHH wants the glory hole and the Steph spot. HHH really believes the "Nature Boy" role for himself. Only thing , it ain't gonna happen.

*****
The JR death watch ....

JR's "foot 'n palsey"
The Los Angeles Times (3/29/2003) quotes JR in its piece on drugs in wrestling. Head of Talent Relations, Jim Ross, told the Times "wrestlers from past eras might have been criticized for asking for a day off, but not anymore. "We want our guys to have a happy home life," he said. "That makes a better employee."

Oooops, rewind..... "That makes a better employee." I think you mean "independent contractor" Jim.

Meanwhile, Schyster reports, "Johnny "Ace" Laurniatis and 'Belfast Bomber' Dave Finlay will see their duties in Talent Relations increase in the near future... Ross' duties in WWE are many. In addition to announcing Raw every week, he has more than a full time job just handling the Talent Relations end of his responsibilities. So, the plan is to give Ace more of the day to day responsibilities. I do know that the company thinks highly of Ace, with Stephanie McMahon said to be a big proponent of him."

***

Your feedback.... Send us your picture at a house show with tomzenk. com #1 - This week Chris S. at 'mania XIX>

***
It took three F-5's to beat Kurt Angle.

It took three Rock Bottoms to beat Steve Austin.

It took three leg-drops to beat Vince McMahon.

It took just one Pedigree to beat Booker T.

That says it all

Tom Zenk replies - "That sure says it all, so why the fuck don't the WWE agents smarten up the old man? Lazy, scared, fucks. Afraid to tell Caesar he's got no clothes on!!!!! wahhh he he ohhhh oohhhhh the dumb fuck is gettin worked!!!!!!1aaaahhh ha ha haaaaaaaa"

***
Wrestlemania was awful, probably the worst Wrestlemania I have ever seen just on booking alone. Wrestling is getting boring week in and week out. As a consumer who has supported the McMahon empire over the years - get rid of the old farts and push the young guys. You know Tom, I saw and heard Chris Jericho prior to WM19 everywhere and this guy is oozing Charisma. He was funny on Howard Stern on battle of the bands. He was funny on Craig Kilborn which is a horrible show in general but he made it work. I saw Jericho on the Wayne Brady Show which ironically was the same show where HGH was a guest on a few months back promoting some bodybuilding PPV. Pretty funny on crowd reaction if you compare his and Jericho's. People popped for Jericho especially the chicks. Meanwhile when the Game was on, he got a mixed reaction a lot of people were thinking who the hell is this Douche?

***
Where was Flair or Steiner on the card? You're telling me the WWE couldn't have RVD vs Flair on Wrestlemania? Goldberg is getting in my opinion 2.5 million a year and the fans didn't even gave a shit about him on Raw.

Tom Zenk replies - "Listen, Once in a while perhaps, I sound a bit twisted, bitter, well I'am. But how the hell can you not feature RVD vs Flair on Wrestlemania? Do you know easy it would have been for them to be showcased? A night off for both of them? A wide range of demographic is covered, they both have unusual ability. You never heard Flair once complain about RVD being stiff, only who?

***
Dear Z-Man

I discovered your site only a few weeks ago after looking through Honky's links and I gotta say, you've become a fantastic regular read. I always had a feeling that wrestling, being so closely linked to show business would eventually develop have an ugly side, but I have to admit I had no idea just how ugly it could get.

It's funny I used to be a Hunter fan before he bulged up, I remeber thinking "this guy's got all the tools, now if he'd only dump that she-male and get into some good feuds...". He droped Chyna eventually as we all know, in exchange for another "plastic ho", and decided to puff up like a bloated pigeon in November. But who knew he was such an ego-maniacal bastard? I mean even if he does think only of himself, doesn't he realize that dropping to Steiner and feuding with him would've brought up his profile? Can he really be that short-sighted?

And what's the deal with HBK, I thought he was "crippled" and "risking life-and-limb" everytime he went out there. Was that all bullshit too? When did wrestling become such a fucking tabloid?

In closing, I guess what I'd like to know Z-Man is what you think the WWE should do to climb out of the ditch they're in? I mean I know you hate VKM and all the rest but what I want to know is where you would start the "healing process". Would you fire talent? Writers? Camera crews? Where would you start? Who would you push? Give us an idea on how you'd handle things...

***

Why doesn't the WWE give fans something new? It seems like wrestlemania is the same old boring stuff. Why didn't they put some new matches together? I think the top of the card should have looked something like.

Hogan vs Steve Austin - sure, they are both old and the workrate would be poor. But Rock/Hogan proved that Hogan could still put on an entertaining match if carried. This would be the two biggest draws from the last 20 years going against each other. This is a no brainer, but instead we get Hogan/Vince (who cares!) which should be backlash match, if not a plain old Smackdown match. On top of that, they throw Steve Austin in with Rocky for the 100th time. Geez. They should have put their world title on one of these guys for this match too(if not both, unify them and stop this roster split trash).so one of them could properly pass the torch again to a young guy. They don't care about the belts anymore, they are just props. Guess what guys, the fans do or at least did until you screwed your product up.

Brock vs Goldberg - just makes sense, we know Goldberg signed not put together this huge match at your biggest card of the year? Angle shouldn't be in the ring, it's a needless risk and he is too good for that. Winner gets a world title shot.

Rocky vs Scott Steiner - a match that hasn't been done. Isn't that great for workrate but would at least be something new.

I could book a full card easily with the talent they have, the WWE is so out of touch with their fans it's not funny. They should get rid of the roster split, bring back the old belts (IC, hardcore) and hire some real writers that don't know the wrestlers and have nothing to do with them. You can't book a decent product when your kids are fucking the talent.

***

As an avid reader of your site, I would like to know 2 things which I have not seen listed.

1) When was your last match?

2) Why did you decide to quit?

I know many other people would like to know the answer to these questions.

Thank you & fuck wrestlezone.com