Hack-Man Movie Ratings

Last updated 27 May 2003


coverPlanet of the Apes (2001)buy

"Planet of the Apes" (2001 version) wasn't as good. I gave it a 3.6 rating. I guess I was expecting an updated version of the original with a bigger budget.

It bas obviously the same basic premise, but pretty much every change they made from the original was a Bad Idea.

For the first five minutes of the movie (the credits before any people are shown) I could have sworn I was watching the 1989 Batman movie.

I couldn't help thinking that the main female ape was Michael Jackson, based on all the photos of him that were floating around last year.

They never really explained whether the planet he crashed on in the future was Earth or not, but since there was no sign of a past civilization, I'd guess "not". There also wasn't any explanation for how his "present" got changed when he returned. Time travel to the future doesn't tend to change the "present" like it can when you travel into the past.

Oh, and the disc itself was in the second worst condition of any DVD I've ever seen. The first hour played with only minor problems, but the second hour was completely unplayable. I took the disc out and cleaned it professionally, and was finally able to get half of the second half to play. You know, I never had any problems when I used to rent movies on VHS, but out of 39 DVDs I've rented, only one has had no flaws, one was completely cracked, this one was 25% to 50% unplayable, and the other 36 discs each had anywhere from ten seconds to five minutes of the movie that wouldn't play. I guess that's a reason for buying DVDs instead of renting them.

Afterwards, I rewatched the first 30 minutes of the movie with Burton's commentary on, but that didn't add anything to the movie so I turned on the "pop-up videos" and watched the whole thing over (fast forwarding any time there wasn't a pop up video). That didn't really add anything either.

coverPlanet of the Apes - The Evolution (Complete Series)buy
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