In the long tradition of posting results while still under the
influence, I bring you the results of the local UCW (one of about six
independent promotions that work the Minneapolis area these days) card
at the Sports Garden in St Paul, MN on 23 March 1996.

The card was scheduled for an 8:00 start, and guessing that it  would
start at 8:20 or 8:30, I showed up around 7:15. 

Fellow RSPW lurker Dave Hagel was already there (in full clergy garb)
saving the entire second row (the front row had masking tape marked
off as "reserved", though only about three people showed up to sit
there).  We ended up with 13 to 18 people there in our group, making
this the largest RSPW outing in MidWest history. :-)  We ended up
marking this side of the ring as "heel territory", and had some great
chants and one-liners.  The cameraman/producer Al P kept pointing the
camera to our section and grinning/laughing.

All seats were padded, though shortly after 7:30 a guy showed up with
a steel chair. so we knew there would be some action. :-)

Beer was $10.00 to $14.00 a pitcher, but that didn't stop us from
getting into the "spirit". After the $7.50 charge for ringside seats,
anything else was small change.

The scheduled matches were:

	Tom "Z-Man" Zenk       -vs-  Mr Dynamic
	The Punisher           -vs-  Tony the Annihilator
	Horace the Psychopath  -vs-  The Masked Professor
 	Starfire Derrick Dukes -vs-  The Joker
	Menace to Society      -vs-  Mystery Opponent

What we ended up seeing was:

	Menace to Society      -vs-  [someone] (a six-minute 
                                     match with a blade job)
                                     Started up a chant of "he's
                                     hardcore", "do the ref", etc.
	Derrick Dukes          -vs-  [some jobber from Kansas City]
                                     this lasted nine minutes; I 
                                     lost my voice during this 
                                     match, which is my indication
                                     that I got my money's worth 
                                     from the evening. :-) The KC
                                     jobber told me to "shut up" 
                                     near the end of the match, so 
                                     at least I was getting
                                     recognition.  I won't mention
                                     that hefty Producer Al
                                     Paybonk(sp?) told me "ya gotta 
                                     be kidding" when I asked him 
                                     to get into the ring (cuz he
                                     could beat both wrestlers 
                                     without trying)
	Horace the Psychopath  -vs-  The Masked Professor
                                     This lasted 15 minutes and I
                                     think Horace won.  I don't 
                                     think I've seen Horace live 
                                     since NWA Grandslam I at the
                                     Indian Center in Minneapolis
                                     about five years ago. :-)
                                     Horace won.
	Tony the Annihilator    -vs  Dr Bob
                                     A couple of the guys I was 
                                     with (in the heel section, 
                                     natch) knew who Dr Bob was 
                                     before he was announced.  In 
                                     any case 'roid boy Tony won 
                                     in eight minutes.
 	
Since neither the main eventer Tom Zenk nor the Promoter (I was
getting ready to yell "I respect you booker man") The Punisher
bothered to show up, the last match was:

	Mr Dynamic              -vs  Horace the Psychopath
                                     Horace did a nice blade job 
                                     about 10-15 feet in front of 
                                     us, and the guy can't be making 
                                     a decent living  wrestling two
                                     matches and cutting into his
                                     forehead in front of a hundred
                                     people, but I respect the guy.
                                     Lord knows I wouldn't shave 
                                     *my* head to wrestle for some
                                     rinky-dink promotion for five
                                     years.

I got my drunken ass on camera more times than I should have with Al
Paybonk, Mick Karsh, and Stan "Krusher" Kowalski.

There was some old ring-rat-wannabe in a leather skirt walking around
ringside snapping pictures the entire night; the only thing worth
looking at was the waitress though--with six or eight independent
promotions working the Twin Cities area, you'd think they could get at
least *one* female valet in there. ;-)

Stan "Krusher" Kowalski was pacing around ringside, but wasn't
involved in any of the matches.  I've heard conflicting reports about
who the promoter is:  him or The Punisher.  Kowalski (who has held 19
major titles) was nominated, then selected to carry the olympic torch
through Minneapolis on June 1&2.  He retired from wrestling 20 years
ago, so I don't know if he can still run the kilometer.

All in all, even though it didn't have The Punisher or Z-Man (I really
felt like yelling shit at him) or Lenny Lane or the Kamikaze Kid, I
think I got my ($7.50 ringside + $15.00 beer + $0.50 foosball + $2.50
strip joint = $25.50) worth out of the evening.

Thanks to Dave, Glenn, and all the guys for making it a great
Minnesota wrestling get-together, even if the wrestling wasn't all
that great.