Hack-Man

Pro-Wrestling PPV Archive Page

Last updated 6 July 2004

WWE 2004 WrestleMania from New York City
14 March 2004

Short version



Hack-Man Report of the PPV


Here's my review of the latest outing from WWE, based on "how much money was this match worth?" At the end, I add it all up and see if the PPV as a whole was worth the sum of its matches.

The bad weather that was supposed to hit us today stayed away (or hit early and the roads were clear by Sunday afternoon) so I made the trip to Torch HQ to watch the Granddaddy of them all (now that Starrcade is no more).

I had posted my "guesses" as to how much each match would be worth a week or so ago, and from the total, it looked like my expectations were pretty high. Did the event live up to it? We'll see.

The PPV started out with a taped message from Vince McMahon, and then panned over from Vince to show Shane and his new son. I asked if this meant that Vince's grandson just earned a PPV bonus for his night's "work".

RATING: $0.15

I was only half paying attention to Heat, but I don't think they had any matches. Matt Hardy's gotta be wondering if the jump to Raw was worth it, as neither he nor Lita were on the PPV. There was someone near the front row with a "Jeff Hardy" sign, though.

I wasn't looking forward to them interspersing "wrestlemania history" segments to pad the show out to the five hours, and thankfully they seem to have changed their mind.

Lawler was actually in a suit and tie. JR was wearing a bow tie (as was Cole). Tazzz was in a suit & tie as well.

The Boys Choir of Harlem performed "America the Beautiful". No interruption by the Frenchies and no "What?" chants during the pauses.

RATING: $0.00

I expected them to start of with a hot match to get the live crowd off to a vocal start, maybe even the cruiserweight battle royal, but they decided to go with the US title match instead.

1. John Cena over Big Show in 9:13

Cena started out with a tame rap that was uninspiring. The crowd seemed pretty dead, as they would continue to be throughout the night except for some very nice exceptions. Since everyone was aware that Show was taking a few months off to get his knees fixed, I hope no one bet on him to retain the title.

MATCH RATING: $0.15 (mostly for the two FUs) My prediction was that it would be worth $1.05 so this was a sizable letdown

Coach went in to Bischoff's office. Eric told him to find Taker. They showed Coach a bit later still looking for Taker, but then seemed to just drop the angle. I wonder if they were short on time or what.

RATING: $0.00

Randy Orton cut a promo that was interspersed with clips of his feud with Mick Foley. Orton was flanked by Batista and Ric Flair on either side. All were wearing suits, but Orton skipped the tie. They kept switching camera angles and the promo worked really well.

RATING: $0.15

2. Booker T/RVD over Frenchies & Cade/Jindrack & Dudleys to retain in 7:55

None of the three teams trying to win the title seemed like a team that should have the straps, so it was an easy pick for Booker/RVD to retain. That's two for two. Nothing special about the match.

MATCH RATING: $0.10 (I predicted $0.50 so this was even worse than the bad match I expected)

Coach continued looking for Taker. He heard noises behind a door. I smelled a Mae Young moment, and sure enough, bald dwarf Mean Gene emerged with lipstick on his chrome dome. Next to come out was Bobby Heenan. He said it wasn't what it seemed like. Mae and Moolah then came out and dragged the two old guys back in the room. Bobby Heenan and Mae stole the segment for themselves.

RATING: $0.25

3. Christian over Jericho in 14:56

Everyone was (legit) amazed that I correctly predicted Trish to help Christian win and turn heel. I guess I thought it was common knowledge. I guess it *was* only RSPW that "knew" this. Still, it was a fun match and had some nice spots. And the most interesting storyline in the last few years of WWE TV continues with the new twist added.

MATCH RATING: $2.75 (expected value was $3.50, so this was the first match to come close)

Lillian Garcia interviewed The Rock and Mick Foley backstage. Rock was energized and cut probably his best promo of 2004. Lillian oversold the glances at Rock's crotch until he finally got around to telling her to stop. Hurricane, Rosey, Murracco, and Snuka were conveniently nearby for him to play off of as well.

RATING: $0.80

4. Flair/Orton/Batista over Rock & Foley in 17:09

Match didn't seem to drag for being as long as it was. Rock & Sock also didn't show as much ring rust as I would have expected. I'm not sure if it's fair to single this match out, but I'm getting tired of the over-used formula of "face gets hot tag and then all heels enter ring to bump for him. They must have used the same spot six or seven times during this match. Anyone who thought this match would be anything other than Orton pinning Mick needs to pay attention. Snuka was not at ringside as they seem to be saying he would be on Raw.

MATCH RATING: $2.35 (expected value was $1.15, so this was a welcome change)

They showed highlights from yesterday's Hall of Fame inductions. Jesse Ventura looks strange (or should that be 'stranger") with dark hair and a full beard. Bobby was good as usual. WWE continued to refuse to refer to Murrocco as "The Rock".

RATING: $0.25

They then went back to the live happenings as they brought the inductees on stage. Valentine got a strangely big pop. There was no Kane involvement in Pete Rose's induction.

RATING: $0.10

5. Torrie/Sable over Miss Jackie/Stacy in 2:41

Anyone who thought the Playboy reps wouldn't win a match with "Playboy" in the title hasn't been paying attention. Since none of these are even mediocre wrestlers, they kept the match short and didn't use much in the way of wrestling moves. Before the opening bell, everyone but Jackie removed their evening gowns. Jackie tried to leave and was brought back in the ring and striped of her clothing.

MATCH RATING: $0.40 (expected rating was $1.25)

Eddie was shown in the back walking into Benoit's dressing room (which from the stuff in the background looked to be shared with 90% of the rest of the roster). He cut a great promo that fired Benoit up. Great work from both men.

RATING: $1.50 (what does it say when a promo from someone who isn't generally good on the mic is worth more than half the matches thus far?)

6. Chavo retained the cruiserweight title in 10:38

Since they wrestled two at a time, I think this should have been given at least 45 minutes. Ultimo Dragon did his best imitation of The Shockmaster by slipping on the stage when he came out, and then slipping in the ring two or three times. Everyone was talking about hockey during this match, so I don't know if the announcers mentioned why Tajiri's henchman never entered the ring to compete. I was also disappointed that they didn't use this match as a way for Hurricane to jump to Smackdown by entering himself in the "cruiser open". It started out with Shannon Moore vs Ultimo. Anyone who thought Shannon would get the title hasn't been paying attention. I hope Shannon rubbed it in backstage that he got a payday on the biggest PPV of the year and Matt didn't. Ultimo vs Jamie (by god) Noble should have been given more time to tell a story. Noble pinned Funaki immediately. Ugh. Noble then fought Nunzio. They didn't bring up that these two are supposed to be "cousins". These two have had amazing matches in the past, but they were only given about a minute to work against each other here. Kidman (one of three that didn't deserve to win, along with Shannon and Tajiri's henchman) did a SSP off the top turnbuckle to the outside where Noble and Nunzio were standing. It looked like he cracked heads with one of them, but was able to finish the rest of his part of the match. Rey came in and pinned Billy in about 90 seconds. These two worked well against each other in WCW. Both have roided up a lot since then, but showed a bit of the old fire still tonight. Tajiri entered and the two did a nice series of spots. This pairing alone should have been given at least 8 or 9 minutes to develop. I called the mist 45 seconds ahead of time and correctly guessed that it would be green (since Rey was sporting a new all-red "Flash" superhero costume (to hang next to his spiderman and daredevil costumes from the past couple of years)). So now it was down to just Rey and Chavo. Anyone who has read the reports that Rey is going to leave the cruiserweight division to (stupidly) compete against the heavyweights again should have known by this point that Chavo would retain. Chavo Sr took a nice bump for a man his age. Rey and Chavo should have been given more time for their part of the match as well.

MATCH RATING: $3.90 (expected value was $10, so this was a huge let-down, mainly because of the time allotted, not that the wrestlers didn't do all they could given the handcuffs that were placed on them).

7. Goldberg over Brock in 13:48

Wow. Vince believes that only a very small fraction of the viewership reads the internet, but somehow, everyone in attendance must have heard the news of Brock leaving. There was a deafening "you sold out" chant filling MSG. Brock looked legit irate at the response from the fans. I'll bet if he sees any of them on the internet he'll kill them. Goldberg smirked at the fans getting under Brock's skin. As the "you sold out" chant started to die down, the fans came right back with the old standby "na na na na, na na na na, hey hey, goodbye". Ross couldn't just ignore the fan reaction, so he mentioned that Brock's fans in Minnesota must be disappointed and then brought up the "rumors" that Brock might leave WWE to try out for the NFL. The crowd went back and forth between cheering for Goldberg (because they were pissed at Brock) and booing Goldberg. The backstage politics made this match much more interesting than it had any right to be. You could tell that Steve Austin wanted nothing to do with the match at all, and wanted to disassociate from two wrestlers who fans had turned on. Everyone was (legit) amazed that I called Austin's post-match stunner on Lesnar, Goldberg's return to the ring, and Austin's stunner on Goldberg after drinking beer together. WTF? Are online people the only ones who thought that was obvious? Before the stunner on Brock, he again looked genuinely pissed at the fans (who went into yet another round of "you sold out" chants and "hey hey goodbye"), gave the MSG crowd a (probably unscripted) double bird, then gave Austin a (probably scripted) double bird before eating the stunner. I laughed out loud when one of the cans of beer that Austin called to be thrown to him hit him right in the head. This might be my third favorite Goldberg match of all time. Raven carried him to his best match. DDP carried him to his second best match. This is third mainly because of the crowd getting under Brock's skin. If anyone had told me a week ago that Vince would put Goldberg over Brock even though it was Goldberg's last match, I would have told them they were crazy. Even *after* the news that Lesnar was leaving, I still expected Goldberg to put him over, since Brock will probably come crawling back when he realizes he can't get a tenth as much income by doing anything else he's qualified for. I pondered whether enough time had passed to make a joke about Brock flying his new plane into the WTC (since this PPV was from NYC). Yeah, probably too soon...

MATCH RATING: $2.90 (expected value was $0.75 so this turned out to be a lot more interesting than it had any right to be)

They showed fireworks on the roof of MSG (outside). Yikes, they're making it harder and harder to sidestep the WTC references.

WM21 (the roman numerals are gone Yay!) will be in California.

Vince appeared at the top of the ramp, quickly thanked the fans, and left.

8. Rikishi/Scotty over Bashams & APA & WGTT in 6:05

After the push WGTT got a couple weeks ago, I expected them to be rewarded with the titles tonight. Nope. They kept them on the "team that needed a gimmick change about two years ago". Maybe I should just be happy that they didn't give them to Rapeshaw or the (technically sound but non-interesting) Bashams. The announcers seemed surprised and excited that the champs danced afterwards. WTF? Was there any doubt? At least the match wasn't longer than it deserved to be.

MATCH RATING: $0.20 (expected value was $1.90 so this was a letdown even taking into consideration that I wasn't looking forward to it)

They ran a promo for Edge's return (but didn't commit to which brand would get him).

Jesse Ventura came to the ring to cut a nice promo. He saw Donald Trump in the front row and decided to interview him. He cut a promo on Donald's hair (ha!). I would have marked doubly if Trump had been quick enough to say something like "you're one to talk"). Ventura wrapped it up by asking if Trump would support him running for president in 2008. Trump said "of course". Jesse said that maybe we need a wrestler to run in 2008. I think he's right. Maybe Shannon Moore should run. This just magnified how much better Jesse would be than Jerry Lawler. Of course one big difference is that Jerry is wearing headphones and has six production people telling him what to say at all times. Jesse might be a lot less interesting under those conditions.

RATING: $2.00

9. Victoria over Molly in 4:52

Before the match they showed a barber, complete with barber pole and chair. I would have marked like a mofo if they had brought in Brutus Beefcake (and had the announcers make several references to subway workers and cocaine). This was one match where I could really see either person winning. Molly definitely deserved her long run on top and could have been in line for another run. It would have been a pretty short run for Victoria if she dropped the strap. Molly's sort of ignoring the topic any time someone brought up the hair stipulation in interviews over the last couple weeks made me guess that she'd be getting her head shaved, though. But instead of anything insightful, Lawler spent the entire match talking about panties. The match wasn't long enough to tell a story, even though Molly is quite capable of doing so (and Victoria has come along nicely with the tutoring from Molly and Fit Finlay).

MATCH RATING: $0.95 (expected vale was $8, but the shortness of the match made it a lot less interesting than expected)

Post-match, Molly (gasp) tried to escape without getting her head shaved. Amazingly, none of the announcers saw that coming. In a neat twist, Molly decked Victoria, put her in the barber chair, and tried to use the clippers on her (which the barber willingly handed to her). That would have been a great ending if Victoria had been the one to get shaved when her hair wasn't even on the line. But Victoria managed to grad some hair spray (no one seemed to question why the hair spray was there in the first place) and sprayed Molly's eyes. Victoria then strapped Molly to the chair (it must have been Shaniqua's chair) and proceeded to shave her bald.

RATING: $0.95

10. Eddie over Kurt to retain the title in 21:30

For some reason, I was the only person who thought Eddie would retain the title. WTF? (again) Haven't all the reports said that the WWE is pleased with Eddie's work and plan to give him a nice long reign? Why was everyone else convinced that Angle would win this one? And when Eddie retained, they also all thought that was a sure sign that HHH would retain so that there would still be a heel champ on one brand. Again I say WTF? Bu as to the match, I expected this to be a serious contender for MOTY, and while it was solid work, it wasn't a WrestleMania caliber match from either of these guys. When I mentioned that I was disappointed, I was told that someone in the main event almost certainly told Eddie and Kurt not to upstage them. Two people (neither was me) called the finish as soon as Eddie started unlacing his boot. I appreciated the slow build and the near falls at the end, but this just seems like it wasn't even what we've seen from these two on Smackdown. This should have easily been a show-stealer match.

MATCH RATING: $3.00 (expected value was $12)

At this point I mentioned how I would have marked if they announced that "due to time constraints, the Undertaker match would be cut from the PPV". No such luck.

11. Undertaker over Kane in 6:56

The entrance was no doubt longer than the match, but in this case, that's not a bad thing--that'sa good thing. The video entrance for Kane was nice, as up til now it had been a dot matrix of the New York skyline, but now changed to the New York skyline with all the buildings on fire. I'll also point out now that at the top of the ramp where the wrestlers stand on the platform, they walked across a giant dot matrix screen. Cool effect. It'll be interesting to see if this is something that WWE rented for one night or if it'll be a new part of the Raw set from now on. Anyway, I was apparently the only one who knew that Paul Bearer all but confirmed that he would be at Mania by canceling all his indy bookings. Mark wrestled without hair extensions, wore a cowboy hat to the ring, and didn't *totally* go into no-sell mode for the first half of the match. The crowd popped for the sit-up, and called Taker's tombstone spot for him ahead of time so he wouldn't forget. I was thankful that they kept the match as short as they did and that Taker only half-heartedly no sold for the first few minutes before going into full no-sell mode. There was an unintentional shoot comment by one of the announcers talking about Undertaker burying all of his opponents (or something like that). I expected a bit more pyro in Taker's entrance instead of simply Bearer walking to the ring and a few druids holding torches. I laughed at how it would suck if the torches burned down MSG since then Benoit would be robbed of his world title victory.

MATCH RATING: $0.20 (expected value was $0.20)

12. Benoit over HHH and HBK

They did a better job than I expected in coming up with reasons for one person to be "knocked out" while the other two fought. While I still would have preferred a clean win of Benoit over HHH without HBK being inserted in the match, this exceeded all expectations I had for the match given the three men involved. While I was 60% sure Benoit would win, I had the nagging suspicion it would be over HBK or a lot more tainted than it was. To start out the match, Hebner checked all three men for foreign objects. I wondered out loud how he missed HHH's and HBK's blades. This had perfect build-up throughout the match, perfect psychology, a gusher of a blade job by HBK (he legit looked like he was out of it at the end, which worked perfectly why he wouldn't be involved when Benoit got the win over HHH) and a blade job from HHH as well (the only two blade jobs of the night). They also did a nice spot with Benoit going through the Smackdown announce table. They teased a lot of false finishes, including a perfect spot where Benoit had HHH in the crossface and HHH was tapping but his hand never touched the mat (plus another one where Benoit had HBK in the crossface, HBK wanted to tap, but HHH grabbed HBK's hand to keep him from tapping).

MATCH RATING: $20.00 (expected rating was $2.00)

TOTAL MATCH RATINGS: $36.90

TOTAL SKIT RATING: $6.15

TOTAL PPV RATING: $43.05

WWE price of the PPV: $49.9x. By that measure, I didn't quite get my money's worth.

I spent about $10 in gas and $3.00 on food, so by that token I more than got my money's worth.

My "expected value" of the PPV from my guesses last week totaled $42.30 (but that was for the matches, no skits). So the total of the matches wasn't as good as I was guessing it would be, but the main event was better than I thought it had the slightest chance of attaining. That plus all the crowd heat for Brock made this an easy "thumbs up" PPV.

This makes it the best PPV I've seen since Halloween Havoc 1998, and two "hit" WWE PPVs in a row. I haven't seen a "disappointing" PPV since Survivor Series 2003.

Thanks to pwTorch for the match results, so I didn't have to scribble down notes instead of enjoying the PPV.

For comparison, here's what I thought of the PPVs I saw in the last couple of years: 

WWF Wrestlemania 1998         1998/03/   unrated
WCW Spring Stampede 1998      1998/04/19 $24.10
WWF IYH: Unforgiven 1998      1998/04/26 $ 9.95
WCW Slamboree 1998            1998/05/17 $27.95
WCW Great American Bash 1998  1998/06/14 $28.05
WWF King of the Ring 1998     1998/06/28 $22.50
WCW Bash at the Beach 1998    1998/07/12 $17.35
ECW Heatwave 1998             1998/08/02 $24.90
WCW Road Wild 1998            1998/08/08 $29.80
WWF IYH: Fully Loaded 1998    1998/07/26 $ 6.95
WWF SummerSlam 1998           1998/08/30 $10.20
WCW Fall Brawl 1998           1998/09/13 $23.60
WWF Judgement Day 1998        1998/10/18 $25.10
WCW Halloween Havoc 1998      1998/10/25 $49.50
ECW November to Remember 1998 1998/11/01 $25.75
WWF Survivor Series 1998      1998/11/15 $21.40
WWF IYH: Rock Bottom 1999     1998/12/13 $ 8.40
ECW Guilty as Charged 1999    1999/01/10 $26.10
WCW Souled Out 1999           1999/01/17 $29.10
WWF Royal Rumble 1999         1999/01/24 $23.00
WWF St Val Day Massacre 1999  1999/02/14 $20.90
WCW SuperBrawl 1999           1999/02/21 $21.35
WCW Uncensored 1999           1999/03/14 $32.00
ECW Living Dangerously 1999   1999/03/21 $25.90
WCW Spring Stampede 1999      1999/04/11 $38.00
WCW Slamboree 1999            1999/05/09 $21.10
ECW Hardcore Heaven 1999      1999/05/09 $15.30
WWF King of the Ring 1999     1999/06/27 $13.40
WCW Bash at the Beach 1999    1999/07/11 $20.70
WWF Fully Loaded 1999         1999/07/25 $10.80
WCW Road Wild 1999            1999/08/14 $13.90
WWF SummerSlam 1999           1999/08/22 $19.05
WCW Fall Brawl 1999           1999/09/12 $12.85
ECW Ararchy Rulz 1999         1999/09/19 $32.25
WWF No Mercy 1999             1999/10/17 $13.00
WCW Halloween Havoc 1999      1999/10/24 $ 3.35
ECW November to Remember 1999 1999/11/07 $28.45
WWF Survivor Series 1999      1999/11/14 $10.95
WCW Meyhem 1999               1999/11/21 $17.75
WWF Armageddon 1999           1999/12/12 $22.05
WCW Starrcade 1999            1999/12/19 $23.65
ECW Guilty as Charged         2000/01/09 $25.70
WCW Souled Out                2000/01/16 $13.20
WWF Royal Rumble              2000/01/23 $20.00
WWF No Way Out                2000/02/27 $16.95
ECW Living Dangerously        2000/03/12 $21.80
WCW Uncensored                2000/03/19 $21.65
WWF WrestleMania              2000/04/02 $22.05
WCW Spring Stampede           2000/04/16 $23.70
WWF Backlash                  2000/04/30 $25.65
WCW Slamboree                 2000/05/07 $23.55
ECW Hardcore Heaven           2000/05/14 $23.05
WWF Judgment Day              2000/05/21 $11.25
WCW Great American Bash       2000/06/11 $16.55
WWF King of the Ring          2000/06/25 $ 1.40
WCW Bash at the Beach         2000/07/09 missed
ECW Heat Wave                 2000/07/16 $15.50
WWF Fully Loaded              2000/07/23 $24.40
WCW New Blood Rising          2000/08/13 $31.00
WWF SummerSlam                2000/08/27 $24.90
WCW                           2000/09/17 missed
WWF Unforgiven                2000/09/24 $16.65
ECW Anarchy Rulz              2000/10/01 $21.30
ECW                           2000/11/   missed
WWF Survivor Series           2000/11/   missed
ECW Massacre on 34th Street   2000/12/03 $ 9.65
WWF                           2000/12/   missed
ECW Guilty As Charged         2001/01/07 $15.70
WWF                           2001/01/   missed
WCW Superbrawl Revenge        2001/02/18 $37.60
WCW Greed                     2001/03/   missed
WWF WrestleMania              2001/04/01 $29.50
WWF                           2001/05/   missed
WWF King of the Ring          2001/06/24 $16.55
WWF Invasion                  2001/07/22 $15.25
WWF SummerSlam                2001/08/   missed
WWF                           2001/09/   missed
WWF                           2001/10/   missed
WWF Survivor Series           2001/11/18 $11.25
WWF Royal Rumble              2002/01/20 $14.15
WWF No Way Out                2002/02/17 $ 3.40
WWF WrestleMania              2002/03/17 $25.30/$36.40
WWF King of the Ring          2002/06/23 $ 6.55/$10.15
NWA TNA                       2002/08/14 $11.60/$12.20
WWF SummerSlam                2002/08/25 $21.10/$21.10
WWF Unforgiven                2002/09/22 $17.50/$21.15
WWF No Mercy                  2002/10/20 $16.85/$20.00
WWF Survivor Series           2002/11/17 $ 7.50/$ 9.20
WWF Royal Rumble              2003/01/19 $19.55/$19.55
WWF WrestleMania XIX          2003/03/30 $22.55/$23.45
WWE SummerSlam                2003/08/24 $16.25/$16.55
NWA TNA                       2003/09/10 $12.50/$14.00
WWE Survivor Series           2003/11/16 $ 8.10/$ 8.60
WWE No Way Out                2004/02/15 $21.85/$22.95
WWE WrestleMania 20           2004/03/14 $36.90/$43.05

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